Nothing Good Can Come of This

I apologize for the late post today, but I received some sad and disturbing news in the wake of Wednesday's "Recumbent Recovery" piece. Unfortunately, it seems my stepfather has fallen off the wagon and is surrendering to his inner demons. After having read this blog, my stepdad sent the following note:

"I must tell you that I am very close to having a slip... Your writing here has been prescient. Just this past 2 days I have been watching ebay sales of recumbents, checking out the Dream Machine -- a sort of recumbent that is being sold in Herrington Catalog -- and have searched Craigs List for recumbents -- and have emailed about a couple. So the urge has blossomed into a search and may turn into action.....will keep you posted -- this could just be a fantasy that runs its course -- but you can never tell at my age...."

Herrington, the same catalog retailer that brings you $95.00 "critter shorts," is trying to take advantage of my stepfather's weakness. I can't help but feel responsible for adding fuel to the fire through the power of suggestion. In all honesty, I can see good and bad in his "Dream Machine" leanings (pun intended). It is more of a "moderate-cumbent" with somewhat of a traditional bike look, as opposed to this, which makes me think the rider is about to give birth to something. But the Dream Machine is no less scary, as even the "moderate-cumbent" is known as the gateway drug of this sordid subculture. We have tried to do all we can as a family, but in the end, only my stepfather can save himself from, well, himself. And please, please leave that potty seat on top of the Dream Machine unused.

So today has been a difficult day. After all, the recumbent addiction can travel across borders and it does not discriminate. I am praying that it will not infect my recently transplanted Bermudan friends:

They say you can't tell a recumbent addict by looking someone in the eye. But I am looking these men in the eye -- all at once -- and I see the fire of determination. It's either that or red-eye from the camera, but I am convinced they have not mounted the potty seat of cycling's underbelly. Stay clean, my friends.


On to happier news...

Sunday, of course, is a special day. Anyone can make a child, but it takes someone special to take that child on a Father's Day bike ride that's sponsored by a cheesecake company. That's right, Eli's Cheesecake is sponsoring the 5th Annual Father's Day Bike Ride. As you'll notice, however, registration closed Tuesday. So congratulations, you're about to teach your child a valuable lesson about disappointment.

The Pace of Chicago blog on Chicago Now has a helpful cycling calendar posted with info on some upcoming rides (charity and otherwise).

Personal finance publication Kiplinger has a good article on the benefits of biking to work. They're not talking about that boring stuff like "it's good for your health," or "you can do it because all the hipsters are doing it." Nope Kiplinger is all about money, and they fill you in on how you might be able to get $20 a month for riding your bike to work, and how you can spend several times that amount getting yourself ready for the commute.

Finally, this has nothing to do with Chicago directly (other than being picked up by a local newspaper), but you have to appreciate the ridiculousness of it. I feel like I've seen this movie before, though, and I can't help thinking it was much better with the prostitute and Dirty Harry.


In light of today's disheartening news, you have my word that I will do better next time.

-TGOTB